Along with tens of thousands of other couples across the U.S., I spent Valentine’s eve watching Fifty Shades of Grey. Don’t worry, there are no spoiler alerts in this post, nor will I give any opinions of the movie.

What I will say is that I don’t know what I was thinking. I knew there would be racy scenes in this movie…I mean, it was the main point of the flick, right? But what I grossly miscalculated was the awkwardness that would wash over the entire theatre at the significant moments.

This particular sold-out showing was in the BigD theatre with a 78 foot wide screen and 7.1 surround sound. This is a fantastic theatre for, say, the latest Hunger Games or Thor movie. But there are certain things that don’t translate as smoothly to this particular movie experience.

Adding to the awkwardness was the guy to my left who was MISERABLE to be there. He huffed and he puffed, sitting up with his elbows on his knees, scrubbing his hands across his face and through his hair, checking his watch every two minutes. Then there was the senior citizen to my husband’s right who was so befuddled by the film that his way of dealing was to include my husband in his movie going experience, constantly making jokes and trying to get hubby to meet his eyes in a, “Can you believe that just happened?” kind of gesture.

Laughter broke out A LOT in this movie, mostly in parts that weren’t intended to be laughed at. Occasionally, Anastasia would make a funny, but you’d think we were watching the latest Anchorman movie. People clearly wanted to make this movie into something more comfortable for them in this public situation. But there was no escaping the utter and complete pin dropping silence that washed over the crowed of middle-aged couples during the significant parts. This was particularly awkward for the family that sat in front of us — a middle aged couple who were there with what appeared to be their parents/in-laws. Um hm.

So I left there with my lesson learned. There are certain movies that you must see on the big screen — the next installment in the Divergent series, next summer’s highly anticipated Batman/Superman thing. But others work best safely streamed to the privacy of your living room television.