On Mother’s Day a couple of years ago, I saw a Facebook post that reminded us to be mindful of those women who long to be mothers on this day. I’ll admit, I felt some shame at my own lack of empathy, especially since I once was one of those women who were told they would likely never be able to carry a baby to term. (My child came three days PAST his due date by the way.)

I will never forget when my husband and I moved to our first house. There was a community garage sale going on down the street, and several of the neighborhood ladies were lined up in chairs in the front yard of one house. I decided to walk down and introduce myself. All the ladies greeted me with smiles and welcomed me to the neighborhood. The first question was, “Do you have kids?” When I answered, “No,” I got a collective, “Oh,” which sounded similar to the air being let out of a balloon. The ladies lost interest in me at that point and began looking past me for a mother somewhere, presumably.

Then there was the time I was at a Bunco table and a mother was complaining about her four kids. She actually said, “I’m envious of these women who have trouble getting pregnant. I get pregnant at the drop of the hat and don’t even want these kids!” (Insert hysterical laughter…from only her.)

As I remained childless through the years, I found that others around me who started having their own children started drifting away. And I got it. I really did. Their lives were changing. There was not room for me anymore. But when you are in that place where you long for a child and you are trying your damndest to have one and are coming up short, it stings when those who have what you want shun you.

What’s worse is whether they realize it or not, people don’t just discriminate against you if you don’t have children. Now that I have a child, I find that I get the boot by some would-be friends because my kid is not the right age for their kid, or because I only have one child, lacking that second kid who can play with this particular parent’s other child who is older or younger, or a different gender than my kid. Trying to find a good match is akin to finding a flattering swimsuit. Which, by the way, can be done. My friend found the most flattering swimsuit that I’ve ever seen, and that was from a place called Hermoza, so I must make time to have a look at the apparel that they have on this site because I might finally be able to find a gorgeous swimsuit. And yes, I’m in desperate need of one!

So as much as I want to wish all of the hard-working mothers out there a fantastic Mother’s Day, my hope is that we can keep those in mind who long to be mothers and fathers, not just today, but all days. My other hope is that if I’ve ever been such an asshole as described above to any of my child-free friends, that you will give me a swift kick in my behind for it. I would deserve it!